Such a touchy and personal subject but it's definitely something I've been thinking about for a LONG time. I've always wondered how someone decides whether or not they become a working mother (you drop your kids off somewhere;grandparents, daycare, nanny, babysitter, head to work for 8 hours, pick up your kids around 6, get groceries and manage to put dinner on the table all the while doing all the daily chores that need to be done in the home) or a stay at home mother (drop your kids off school, hit the gym, get groceries, get some chores done...pick up the kids after school at 3...take them to the park for an hour or two...go home and get dinner ready). Of course for the first 5 years of your child's life you're not dropping them off at school...you're spending the ENTIRE day with them!
I used to find it really hard to accept that women actually would choose to be a working mother (from how my descriptions above sound). But as I'm heading towards motherhood, reality sets in. Can I even AFFORD to be a stay at home mom? This question probably has the biggest weight to this dilemma. Will I get super bored when I'm home all by myself with the kids, especially when they're not school-aged? Will I wake up one day and feel resentful because I had to give up everything that going to work rewards you with?
On the flip side, if I become a working mom, would I end up just hating work because I wish I could go to my kids' class' Valentine's Day party with cupcakes in hand? Will I be forcing my kids to miss out on things like swimming lessons after school because I wouldn't be able to take them? Will I wake up one day and feel regret because I gave up being able to put 100% into my children while they were growing up?
Can a mother really 'have it all'? A career, family, money AND children? For sure the answer to this question varies because no woman is the same. I work with kids and I've had the pleasure to witness many different family dynamics in many different families. I've seen everything from total stay at home mom/soccer mom types to total career driven moms/CEO mom types and everything in between. My job for the next few years is to figure out where I stand in the big stretch. Any decision will have some gives and some takes. My goal is to make sure that I don't give away something that my child can never get back and to that I don't take so much that I won't be able to hand it.
What are your thoughts???? I'd love to hear from the experienced ladies!!!
it is not an easy decision at all!! it was really hard for me to go back to work, i feel like i miss out on so much, but at the same time i know i am giving my girls a better more comfortable life in being there and that makes it a bit easier. :-)
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for sharing Lisa!!! Ya it really is hard....and I don't even HAVE kids yet!! THINKING about it drives me nuts because I think most mothers really do want to be able to do both...providing financially and spending time with the kids....unfortunately for us the cost of living is just so high here!!!!!
ReplyDeletePS: I think you're doing a FABULOUS job Lisa. Can tell you love your girls so so much!! xoxo
would ed ever consider being a stay-at-home dad? that's a discussion davidson and i have had! we're thinking whoever has a better contract should work, and since i'll have a pay upgrade from the MA maybe i should be a working mom!
ReplyDeleteUmmm Ed makes SO much more than I do HAHAHA Plus he has absolutely NO baby skills whatsoever!! HAHAHA he'd NEVER be a stay at home dad!! HAHA So ya for sure if one of us stays home it'd be ME!
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